Lizard poisons Spock.

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The Causes and Effects of Eighth-Grade Syndrome Throughout History

fotc (Mazui Subs, Unlimited Translation Works)

4  Eighth-Grade Syndrome

The acquisition and onset of eighth-grade syndrome are separate entities. The acquisition is characterized by the adoption of an attitude and mindset, while the onset is characterized by its symptoms—observable behaviors. There is typically an asymptomatic period between acquisition and onset, during which testing for the condition returns positive, but behaviors have not surfaced. In this sense it is similar to HIV/AIDS, and many who have experienced the condition consider this an apt comparison.

The duration of the asymptomatic period is not well characterized, but typically lasts from one to two years for cases with visible onset. The onset is typically marked by a trigger, which may be exposure to a symptomatic case of eighth-grade syndrome or intellectual material of an eighth-grade syndromic quality. The nature of the trigger is typically visible throughout the case of eighth-grade syndrome as part of its trajectory.

Triggers, and resultingly, cases with visible onset, may generally be placed in one of three general categories: rebel, subculture, or supernatural. Many more specific categorizations fall along the boundaries of these general categories. Several triggers for eighth-grade syndrome are described alongside the effects of eighth-grade syndrome throughout history in the following sections.

A  The Mindset of Eighth-Grade Syndrome

Eighth-grade syndrome is an extension of teenage angst which includes a desire both for attention and to be special which typically presents itself as a feeling that one is trapped in the wrong “world” or “body.” It is also characterized by the placement of undue emphasis on things of little consequence, such as minor verbal connotations. The self-consciousness and desire for attention may also result in delusions of grandeur.

B  The Rebel Type

A rebel-type case of eighth-grade syndrome may best be characterized as following the typical trajectory of teenage rebellion. In order to meet the thirty-minute time limit, the author refers the reader to watch several teen films, such as Rebel Without a Cause and Teenage Rebel.

C  The Subculture Type

A subculture-type case of eighth-grade syndrome pursues self-qualification in the immersion into a community with tastes contrary to what is considered “normal.” This immersion is typically done in imitation of others without a proper understanding of what the subculture truly values. Common examples of this type of eighth-grade syndrome includes hipsters, furries, and international anime fans, especially those who watch “fansubs.”

D  The Supernatural Power Type

A supernatural power-type case of eighth-grade syndrome is characterized by an obsession with a field of study, such as mythology, religion, magic, extraterrestrials, or anything pertaining to the occult. The sufferer also typically imagines entire settings and stories in which the sufferer or a character on which the sufferer may self-project is of great consequence. Some very rare, extreme cases take to enactment of these settings and stories. It is of importance to note that the sufferer is also conscious that his or her conceptions and actions are outrageous or unrealistic.

The Causes and Effects of Eighth-Grade Syndrome Throughout History by fotc is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

Research was funded in part by FFF Fansubs.

This card represents the world’s inner timbre, it’s voice.

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A voice speaks to you… Do you not wish to see where it will lead you?

TSUKI NO HIKARI NI MICHIBIKARE NANDO MO MEGURIAU
SEIZA NO MATATAKI KAZOE URANAU KOI NO YUKUE
ONAJI KUNI NI UMARETA NO MIRACLE ROMANCE

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The Causes and Effects of Eighth-Grade Syndrome Throughout History

fotc (Mazui Subs, Unlimited Translation Works)

Errata

Due to the reversed order and impromptu nature of the writing of this article (As stated previously, the author will write the article from front matter prior to content prior to end matter and has imposed a thirty-minute time limit on the writing of any given section.), corrections for errata in a published section may be found in the following section. Any known errata will be corrected in the completed article. Retroactive corrections to previously published material will not be made.

• Section 2: Replace all instances of “onset” with “acquisition.”
• Sections 2, 3, and 4: Reorder sections to describe the symptoms of eighth-grade syndrome prior to exploration.

3  The Root Cause of Eighth-Grade Syndrome

The imaginary audience and personal fable provide the adolescent with feelings of having attention, specialness, and invulnerability. The decline of these two cognitive distortions provides the adolescent with the opposite feelings: of being ignored, being ordinary, and mortality. These three feelings, in the context of terror management theory (TMT), explain in part the mentality and subsequent behaviors of eighth-grade syndrome sufferers.

A  Terror Management Theory

Terror management theory posits that human actions are taken due to a basic psychological conflict: that humans wish to live despite the realization that death is inevitable. This conflict creates terror, which is mitigated through culture, or symbolic systems which provide life with meaning and value. Essentially, death is denied through symbolic immortality, through the idea that a part of the individual will live on despite death.

Symbolic immortality is achieved through being part of a greater whole, a community larger than oneself, which will live beyond the death of the individual. In the context of TMT, then, cultural constructs such as religion and nationalism are means of managing terror.

B  TMT and Eighth-Grade Syndrome

In other words, TMT posits that a fear of mortality pushes the individual to join a larger community. This is clearly seen in many cases of eighth-grade syndrome, typically of the subculture type, in which the adolescent is quick to affiliate his or herself with a subcultural community. The subculture also provides the adolescent with defenses against the feelings of being ignored and being ordinary as well. First, as part of a smaller community than the entirety of mankind, the adolescent is no longer “ordinary”; the adolescent is differentiated, different, and thus regains a sense of specialness. Second, the adolescent is also able to express that he or she is part of the community, typically one little known or little understood by others, to gain attention. Finally, the adolescent is, as part of the subculture, able to garner the attention of others in the subculture with greater ease than if not part of the subculture.

However, the push to join a larger community does not adequately explain cases of eighth-grade syndrome in which the adolescent pursues isolation, such as the supernatural power (or jakigan) type, for instance. To explain such cases, the desire to reclaim lost attention and to be special must be considered. First, believing that one possesses supernatural powers differentiates the individual from the common, powerless masses, giving the adolescent a sense of being special. Second, the flamboyant expression of this belief and the imagined world are means of gaining attention (blank stares).

It remains that the supernatural power-type eighth-grade syndrome sufferer must have a means of denying his or her mortality, and this denial is self-evident in the sufferer’s supernatural powers. The sufferer will often explicitly state that he or she is immortal, or will be reincarnated, or any of a plethora of means of denying mortality. The sufferer effectively denies death through a religion of his or her own creation. The consequences of these means of denying mortality are explored in later sections.

The Causes and Effects of Eighth-Grade Syndrome Throughout History by fotc is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

Research was funded in part by FFF Fansubs.

ARE YOU READY!!
I’M LADY!!

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The Causes and Effects of Eighth-Grade Syndrome Throughout History

fotc (Mazui Subs, Unlimited Translation Works)

2  The Onset of Eighth-Grade Syndrome

The name “eighth-grade syndrome” derives from the common observed age of onset for the condition, that is, the age of the typical eighth grader, or 13. While the typical age of onset varies within the range 12 through 14, the average age of onset is 13, and the distribution is tight about this age.

The tightness of the distribution suggests a common cause for all cases of eighth-grade syndrome: one related to age and development. In this regard, Piaget’s theory of cognitive development, one of the most influential theories in developmental psychology, provides an explanation for the common age of onset.

A  Piaget’s Theory of Cognitive Development and Eighth-Grade Syndrome

Piaget’s theory of cognitive development is a developmental stage theory, describing cognitive development in four distinct stages: the sensorimotor stage, the pre-operational stage, the concrete operational stage, and the formal operational stage. Each stage is associated with the development of specific abilities and is associated with a range of typical ages. Of these four stages, only the fourth is of concern with regard to eighth-grade syndrome.

The formal operational stage begins in adolescence and continues through adulthood, with a typical onset at age 11. In this stage, abstract thought and the ability to consider potential consequences emerge, allowing the adolescent to think of the future in a philosophic way. The adolescent’s transition into the stage often gives rise to two related conditions: the imaginary audience and the personal fable.

Together, these two conditions describe an adolescent’s growing self-consciousness. They are the beliefs that they are being watched by anything from individuals to the entire world, and as a result, that they are the focus of all attention. This leads to a belief that the adolescent is “different,” “unique,” or “special” compared to others, which results also in feelings of invulnerability. Existing research shows that these beliefs peak at age 13 and decline as the adolescent continues to develop.

While these appear to be the precise causes of eighth-grade syndrome due to the closely related ages between the onset of eighth-grade syndrome and the formal operational stage, they are not. The imaginary audience and personal fable are only cognitive distortions in which the adolescent believes that he or she is being watched, unique, and invulnerable. These beliefs alone do not give impetus for the symptoms of eighth-grade syndrome. Rather, it is the decline of these beliefs which triggers eighth-grade syndrome. A discussion of the mechanism by which this occurs is described in the following section.

The Causes and Effects of Eighth-Grade Syndrome Throughout History by fotc is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

Research was funded in part by FFF Fansubs.

A very fitting Lite. I’ve been sick all week, but I can’t take time off from work because of deadlines.

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All right, maggots, listen up. I’m only gonna say this once, so you’d better grind it into that pile of dog shit you call a brain harder than I’d grind my neighbor’s wife’s pretty little posterior. Ooh-la-la.
First off, we’re subbing Chuunibyou demo Koi ga Shitai! Ren and thems shorts that comes with ’em every week because I want to. It ain’t gonna be no cake walk, but you can be surer than I’d grind my cousin’s wife that it’s easier than getting her permission. You’d better thank those freaks in FFF Squadron for helping, you ingrateful maggots.
Second, you will not expect a release until 24 hours after broadcast has been completed. That’s 1600, Zulu, maggots. Grind that into that pile of camel vomit you call a brain and don’t ask questions. I got work to do, and it’s keeping me from grinding my brother-in-law’s sister’s former roommate’s terrific tushy, so you can be surer than hell that I’m not gonna do anything for your damn sake.
Third, Lites will be done as UTW Squadron because that’s how shit goes. Grind that into that hairy slime mold you call a brain like I’d grind my aunt’s cousin’s boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend’s daughter’s beautiful behind, and don’t ask questions, maggots.
Fourth, writing a post will never delay a release, maggots. Grind that into that stinking dung beetle carcass you call a brain and never ask if a post is delaying a release. This shit takes less than half an hour between missions to write, which is considerably more time than I could grind my aunt’s babysitter’s lesbian girlfriend’s uncle’s former roommate’s wife’s, but much less time than I could grind your sister’s rapturous rump. And just like a good grinding, it only comes with a moment’s divine inspiration. None of this shit is planned. Ever.
Got that maggots? Now get the hell back to work before I grind your ass too. Ooh-la-la.