Unlimited Translation Works

This is (not) an announcement

It seems pretty obvious that most people found my project update post distasteful. I apologize for that. After realizing that some of our project updates are buried in random threads with dozens, if not hundreds, of comments, it was obvious that we needed an actual post that provided people with updates on our projects. Please note that this post will (possibly?) be updated if things turn around. So for now, it’ll be marked as a sticky.

I want to make it very clear that with this post, no one should be commenting on the status of our projects in other posts anymore. This will result in your email and IP being marked as spam and you being banned indefinitely. I’m sure you understand where the frustration comes from, so I won’t bother to explain. Just know that, if UTW picks up projects for winter and we find comments asking about a project listed below, said person will be banned.

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Cinderella Girls – 10

I don't think I'll be able to wear this dress anytime soon.

I don't think I'll be able to wear this dress anytime soon.I don’t think I’ll be able to wear this dress anytime soon.

DOWNLOAD: [Chibiki] THE iDOLM@STER Cinderella Girls – 10 [720p][70C30E55].mkv

It’s been a bit over a week since my scratch test. My back still itches. God damn.

The allergist said that my back would be normal in a couple days, but there are still some marks from where the little plastic forks pierced the skin. The left side of my back—where the pollen panel went—has taken on a weird texture. It’s dry and kind of scaly. And I think I might have some permanent scarring on that side of my back.

I messed up on my temporary diet this week and had some shrimp. Luckily for me, no anaphylactic episode followed. The blotch for shrimp was only slightly larger than the histamine control, so it isn’t entirely unexpected.

Most of the reactions to the foods were relatively weak, and the allergist said that it was probably fine not to mind them in the future. The real issue is that the body acts strangely and reacts excessively to everything for a while after an anaphylactic episode. It’s entirely possible to trigger another attack from even an allergen that would otherwise cause no reaction. This is why I’ve been asked to avoid all foods that had a reaction for the next month. That means I’m going to stick to a diet consisting primarily of tofu, peppers, and rice.

Yes, for the next month, I am going to be vegan. And I’m not complaining. It’s an excuse to do something I’ve always wanted to do.

When I was studying for my master’s degree, I decided to try vegetarianism. (Not veganism because I liked the paneer dishes at this one Indian restaurant near the school.) In control of all my meals, I refrained from eating any form of animal flesh for three months. I would boil pasta with rabe or broccoli, sauté spinach with garlic, stir-fry tofu with peppers, crunch through pound upon pound of raw radishes—the tops are the tastiest part. Then winter break came, and I had to go home for a week. The night before my flight, I told my mother that I had gone vegetarian for the last three months. She was not pleased.

When I arrived at home, a steak dinner awaited me on the table. The meat was fresh—purchased that morning from the butcher. Not wanting to cause a scene, I ate it, ending my three-month stint as a vegetarian.

The following day, we had kalbi for lunch. And more steak for dinner. The day after, German sausage. And then haggis. Meat lasagna. Shawarma. Chinese pork chops. Pho. For one week, it was impossible to escape the endless barrage of meat.

This repeated every three months for two years. fotc, the attempted-vegetarian, coming home to meatloving parents who just wouldn’t stop trying to feed their vegetarian child meat. It was painful, especially in a world where we’re still trying to cope with Livestock’s Long Shadow. Now that I’m allergic to red meat, I can do this right.

And so, I’d like to invite the audience to join me in taking up veganism, to consider any variant of vegetarianism, or to simply reduce your meat intake. Reduce your calorie intake, reduce your risk of developing cancer and cardiovascular disease, reduce your contribution to global climate change—reduce your meat intake.

Cinderella Girls – 09

Or like this.

Or like this.

Or like this.Or like this.

DOWNLOAD: [Chibiki] THE iDOLM@STER Cinderella Girls – 09 [720p][BC13B7EB].mkv

Following my exercise-induced anaphylactic episode, I went to an allergist for some preliminary allergy testing, to know what foods to avoid for the next month, and to get a lab slip for detailed allergy testing next month.

Basic allergy testing is done with a scratch test. The idea behind scratch testing is to induce a small, controlled allergic reaction on the skin. This is done by making a shallow puncture (scratch) on the skin, through which allergen is delivered. The allergist draws a large grid on your back, and in each cell, stabs you with a small plastic “fork,” dipped in a specific allergen. Any allergen which evokes a reaction creates a visible, puffy red blotch on the skin within fifteen minutes. The shape and size of each blotch is sketched on paper and compared against a blotch from a pure histamine scratch.

Since the cost for a scratch test is the same no matter how many allergens are tested, I decided to get tested for a whole lot of them, from a full pollen panel to a full animal panel and a whole mess of foods.

A young nurse led me into an examination room and told me to take off my shirt. So I did. What else would I do?

She had me sit on a low stool and rest my arms on an examination table. I was not to turn around or move. She then took out a Sharpie marker and started drawing a grid on my back. It tickled, but hey, if that’s how she does it, then that’s how she does it.

She then brought in a little tray of little plastic forks inverted in little plastic containers with liquid in them. And then she proceeded to take the little plastic forks out of their little plastic containers, one at a time, and stab me in the back. I’m not really into this kind of thing—it kind of hurts—but if that’s what it takes, that’s what it takes.

After she exhausted her little tray of little plastic forks, she left the room for about fifteen minutes. During those fifteen minutes, I wasn’t to touch or scratch my back, and wasn’t to move from my position. At first I thought it was a good thing I had a book on me. But as soon as I found my place in my book—I really should use a bookmark—my back started itching. A lot.

My back started feeling warm. And itching more. Then burning hot, like my back were on fire. The itch grew unbearable. I couldn’t even think. It took everything I had to maintain the position. Jesus, woman, what the hell is wrong with you? Are you trying to kill me?

Eventually, she came back in with a young female doctor—wow—whose eyes grew larger than dinner plates when she saw my back.

Doctor: “My god, are you okay?”
Me: “It itches, but I think I’m fine. It’s not too bad.”
Doctor: “Are you sure? Think you need some Benadryl?”
Me: “No, it’s really not that bad.”
Doctor: “Really? It looks pretty bad to me. Your back’s practically on fire.”
Me: “No, really, I’m fine. Just get it over with so I can scratch my back. The itch is killing me.”
Doctor: “Okay, I’ll be back in a minute with some Benadryl and cold cream. They should help. Nurse, sketch whatever you can. If you can’t, just write it down.”

The nurse sketched the reacted blotches on my back. The doctor came back with a pill and some water, but waited for the nurse to finish before giving it to me and forcing me to take it. She then took a closer look at my back.

Doctor: “We don’t usually see allergic reactions this severe.”
Me: “Really? How bad is it?”
Doctor: “The blotches—here, look—usually fit in the grid so we can draw them all. Some of these go outside of their cells and some actually merged with each other. We can’t even tell what the shape or size of some are because they’re too big. For those, we’ll just say ‘severe.'”
Me: “There are a lot of blotches here.”
Doctor: “Yes. You’re severely allergic to every pollen on the panel.”
Me: “That explains my year-round sniffles.”
Doctor: “You’re also allergic to all common animals in houses except cockroaches.”
Me: “So I can keep cockroaches as pets?”
Doctor: “Sure, if you really want to. This mold allergy is pretty bad too. But the main thing we’re here for today is foods.”
Me: “How does it look, Doc? Will I live?”
Doctor: “I wouldn’t call it much of a life.”

Here’s a list of foods that I’m allergic to and will have to avoid for the next month:

  • Peanut
  • Hazelnut
  • Almond
  • Walnut
  • Pecan
  • Cashew
  • Pistachio
  • Brazil nut
  • Shrimp
  • Codfish
  • Salmon
  • Tuna
  • Perch
  • Bass
  • Catfish
  • Mackerel
  • Trout
  • Halibut
  • Crab
  • Lobster
  • Oyster
  • Clam
  • Scallop
  • Lamb
  • Beef
  • Pork
  • Tomato
  • Cantaloupe
  • Honeydew
  • Avocado

Why do I live?

I also wrote another article this week which you may enjoy.

Fate/stay night [Unlimited Blade Works] – 07-09

majority_of_us_left_in_utw

DOWNLOAD: [UTW]_Fate_stay_night_Unlimited_Blade_Works_-_07-09_[h264-720p]

One step closer to my retirement!

Cinderella Girls – 08

Something like this.Something like this.

DOWNLOAD: [Chibiki] THE iDOLM@STER Cinderella Girls – 08 [720p][12F7B1E9].mkv

I have some bad news.

I recently learned about something called “exercise-induced anaphylaxis.” Basically, exercise results in an allergic reaction—and a violent one at that. It can be potentiated by all sorts of allergens, like foods or pollens. And it’s effectively being allergic to exercise.

I happened to learn about this after a trip to the emergency room. After dinner, I went out for a run. A few minutes later, I collapsed and got rushed to the hospital in an ambulance.

The doctors immediately stuck me with epinephrine and diphenhydramine, but the first doses didn’t work at all. They couldn’t get a good reading on my vitals or stick a drip in me because I was shaking like a ho in a rap music video. Let me summarize the conversation over my dying body and my thoughts during it:

Doctor A: “What’s his blood pressure?”
Doctor B: “He’s shaking way too much. I can’t get a reading.”
Doctor A: “Get some tubing and tie his arm to the bed.”
Doctor B: “Will do.”

I really don’t want my arm tied to the bed. It sounds painful and restricting. But it might save my life. But I really don’t like the idea.

Me: “Do you need me to stop shaking?”
Doctor A: “Yes.”
Me: “Let me try something.”

Remembering my idol training, I started diaphragmatic breathing. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. I stopped shaking. They had my vitals within the minute.

Doctor B: “Blood pressure 30/20.”

Fuck. I’m going to die.

Fuck. I had 75 LP, too. Fuck. I knew I should have spent it before I went out. Fuck. Now I’m going to die without that SR Nico. Fuck. Fuck my rapidly fading life. Maybe one more for the road.

Me: “Nico Nico Ni.”
Doctor B: “Did you say something?”
Me: “Nyaa.”

As you can probably guess, I’m still alive and well enough to translate idol anime and write release posts. After I was stable and fully conscious, the doctors asked me how I managed to stop shaking when I did, since they had never seen anyone do that before. I told them that I had been doing some idol training (in those words) which included diaphragmatic breathing, and that I was starting an exercise routine which landed me in the ER that night. They were speechless.

It probably didn’t help much in the overall picture, but diaphragmatic breathing helped the doctors get my vitals and stick a drip in me without tying me to a bed. I’d like to think that idol training saved my life. And so I owe my life to idol anime.

Unfortunately, due to the nature of exercise-induced anaphylaxis, I’m going to have to cut short my idol training. The doctors say to wait a month before getting detailed allergy testing, and during that time not to do anything that might evoke a reaction. I’ll try to resume if things work out, but I can’t guarantee anything.

There are two lessons to take away from this story:

  1. You can be allergic to stuff and not know it. The appropriate triggers for the allergic reaction might not have happened simultaneously yet.
  2. Idol anime can save your life.

I’m taking the second one to heart.

Cinderella Girls – 07

What is wrong with you?What is wrong with you?

DOWNLOAD: [Chibiki] THE iDOLM@STER Cinderella Girls – 07 [720p][A6C9D7AE].mkv

While I’ve managed to stretch daily, I was only able to make good on the running twice in the last week because work is killing me. I need to find more time for idol training, but it’s hard when my boss is crawling up my ass with hardhat and flashlights looking for finished assignments a month earlier than they can even be digested. Maybe the first step I need to take to become an idol is to quit my job.

Anyway, in order to say that I’ve done something each day towards becoming an idol, on every day that I don’t or can’t run, I’m going to do crunches until I can’t move. It should help on the stamina end of things, and only take about a minute or two each time since I’m that out of shape.

Idols usually don’t look it, but they’ve got big, strong, tough muscle. If you listen to their interviews and radio programs, they like to complain about keeping their figure while developing tons of it. I was planning on starting a workout routine other than running this week, but I haven’t had time to read up on it—or anything else. May as well go with this since I’ll end up all muscly from being an idol anyway.

Now to get back to work.

This is an Announcement – RIP Seitokai Yakuindomo Bleep

So it’s been nearly a year plus 3 translators later, and this still isn’t finished, so consider this an obituary post. Sorry guys, but it wasn’t meant to be or something. しかたがありませんぞ~。

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